So let me tell you a story. It does not put me in the best picture, but hey I was a child(just 7 or 8 years old). I was still growing up, and I had a tendency to absorb bad habits more than the good ones. Like I would see something in a movie or on TV and will repeat it thinking that it’s cool. So once, I saw a girl in a movie throwing all the stuff in her room just because she was upset. And she got immediate attention.Naturally, I repeated the same when my mum wasn’t paying attention to one of my tantrums. My mum had a lot on her mind and she immediately slapped me for behaving like that.
I cried for a while. I realised I was wrong but was still acting angry because my mother had slapped me. I was scared too because I didn’t want my dad to know any of it. After a while, my mum called me for dinner. I threw a few more tantrums but reluctantly left the room when I saw my dad.
He asked me the reason for behaving like the way I did.
I was quiet, not sure what to say.
Then he told me something. What he said was:
“I recently read a book. And I would like to tell you how human brain works.”
I listened to him, glad that he wasn’t angry.
“There are three phases in which the brain reacts to a situation.” He continued.”Parent, adult and child. So when you are in a situation that you don’t like, don’t just react. Take a pause and close your eyes. Count backwards from 10… to 1 if necessary. This allows the brain to surpass your child and your parent level, allowing you to react as an adult.”
I still listened to him. I hated such lectures at the time. So I started making faces but that didn’t stop him.
“For instance, you behaved like a brat today because the child in you reacted. I am trying to make you understand how to behave because I have had the time to think. Otherwise, I would have slapped you just like your mother did, reacting to my parent side in that way.” He smiled.
I instantly said: “What book is that?”
He replied: “It’s called: I am Ok.You are Ok.”
Me: “Will you lend it to me, so that I can read it?”
My Dad: “I have lent it to a friend of mine but soon as I get it back, I will.”
I grinned like a fool and he hugged me.